We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
