He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
