Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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