direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
