I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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