She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Boobs speak an international language.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
