I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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