My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
