Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think your dad took our porno
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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