i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
