hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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