I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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