Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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