Plan B is the new Plan A
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
