This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
