I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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