When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
