first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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