you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
