he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
