So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
