So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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