I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
