did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
