my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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