I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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