census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
