do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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