What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
