So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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