i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
