After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
