I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
