and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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