she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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