there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
