Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
