i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He shit in the fireplace
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
