We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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