I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
