no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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