I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
