hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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