Don't you send me to vm
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
