Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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