Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
