I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
