so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
