considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In other news, I just burned my penis
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
