when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Four minutes until I can fart!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
